On this day in 49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River which divided Gaul (France) from Italy. The Senate had ordered him back to Rome, specifically instructing him to leave his army behind in Gaul. Perhaps he sensed danger, or perhaps he felt opportunity. Either way, he led his army back to Rome. As he crossed the river he said “alea iacta est” which means the die is cast, there’s no going back. Crossing the Rubicon is embedded in our language as no turning back.
When Caesar entered Rome, he quickly won a civil war, and became dictator for life. Life was to mean five years, since he was assassinated in 44BC – “et tu Brute?” Actually, he resigned his dictatorship after only eleven days, and went to Egypt where he met Cleopatra.
How often do we have “the die is cast” decisions in life? Career choices, marriage, emigration, these all feel like those kind of moments. I’m thinking about Sir Anthony Standen’s life, and where he had those moments. When he took the job of master of horse for Lord Darnley, that was a no turning back moment. It probably didn’t seem like it at the time. Darnley may have concealed the fact that he was going to marry Mary Queen of Scots without Queen Elizabeth’s permission. It was certainly a no turning back moment for Darnley.
Darnley’s decision led Standen to exile and a career as a spy. I’m rather glad, since it has made me into a writer of historical fiction. I’d wanted to write for many years. I’d written a textbook on Project Sponsorship, and had completed the Open University Creative Writing courses. But I couldn’t decide what to write. I’d thought about writing crime fiction, but hadn’t got off the ground. It was discovering Sir Anthony Standen and then the Covid lockdown which got me going. Of course I could turn back. I could abandon writing, or perhaps switch to science fiction. But I don’t want to. I think I’ve found my niche.